We’ve all been there, you go out with your buddies for a wild night on the town in Huntsville, Alabama and that night ends at a strip club. Only the strip club is already closed. So you head to the local gas station at three in the morning, get in an argument over Alabama football and stab your buddy in the back.
I mean, raise your hand if this hasn’t happened to you. (Every Alabama fan raises hand, rest of y’all are sitting with your hands by your sides).
Every time we post one of these ridiculous Alabama fan stories, Alabama fans email and post below the story that we’re just looking for stories to make Alabama fans look bad. That’s not true. Your fan base is just the most insane in the country. (In fact, a lot of OKTC’s tips on these stories, including this one, come from other Alabama fans amazed by what their fellow fans will do). Let’s go to Huntsville’s WAFF for the story.
“A man stabbed another man in the back early Wednesday morning at a gas station in Harvest after the two got into an argument over Alabama football, according to police.
Madison County deputies charged Eric Slagle with second degree assault.
Deputies said the stabbing happened at the Mapco on Highway 53 near Jeff Road around 2:45 a.m. A large group of people went to the gas station after visiting a strip club down the street, investigators said.
The clerk inside the store said chaos broke out after the argument and stabbing. Deputies said Slagle took off and they found him about an hour later less than three miles from the gas station.”
And now the video report:
I attempted to post the Huntsville, Alabama TV report on this stabbing, but in another bit of Alabama fail, the station’s embed code isn’t working.
I know, y’all are shocked too, right?
You’ll be happy to know that the man who was stabbed will survive.
Which means we can have some fun with the Alabama football argument. What were these Tide fans arguing about?
Here are my hypotheses:
1. Whether Alabama has 45 or 46 national titles.
2. Which of them slept with this Alabama fan first.
3. Who loves Nick Saban more.
4. How many luxury SUVs Trent Richardson drives.
5. Who came up with “Scam” Newton first.
6. Who lost the “Got 13” shirt that both men shared for date nights.
7. Whether you pronounce G.E.D as Ged or not.
8. Who has sent the better “your gay” joke to Clay Travis.
9. Whether Paul Finebaum is Jewish or not and how that impacts his Alabama fandom.
10. Who had more Bama in them? (Note, a knife in the back does not, necessarily, constitute more “Bama” in them).
11. This had nothing to do with Alabama football, the duo was just reenacting their community center Julius Caesar play.
12. Whether or not Slagle’s bangs were long enough to officially count as “Bama Bangs.”
13. Whose wife would be prostituted in order to get enough money for BCS title game tickets.
Can you beat these?
OKTC prize pack to whoever posts the funniest potential Alabama fan argument.