All That and a Bag of Mail

It’s Friday, time for all of you to cut out of work early because we’ve got college football to watch!

But until then, I’ll be toiling away here making you money after a fantastically successful 5-0 start with the Outkick gambling picks. Hopefully some of you guys hoped on board these games and have made some money.

But if you haven’t Santa Clay is giving out gifts: you can win up to $10k by playing our free weekly college football pick’em game. Go play here.

Okay, let’s roll.

There were two questions that dominated all week, Carli Lloyd’s chances as an NFL kicker and ESPN deciding to treat a relatively unknown NFL player declaring he was bisexual as breaking news.

I’ll take both of these off the top in order:

“Could Carli Lloyd make it as a kicker in the NFL?”

The answer is 100% no.

I mean, legitimately, there is zero case to be made that she could hack it as an NFL kicker. This is left wing gender politics masquerading as sports.

Carli Lloyd has trained to play soccer her entire life and she and her US women’s soccer teammates were not good enough to be a 15 year old and under boy’s team from Dallas, Texas.

So despite spending her entire life training for soccer, Carli Lloyd is, at best, roughly as good as a very talented teenage boy is at soccer. She would probably not make all-state boy’s soccer in Texas.

As a result, she has a 0% chance of making any men’s team to play soccer. (The US Men’s team would beat the US Women’s team like 25-0 if they played head-to-head and tried as hard as they could).

So if that’s all true, which it indisputably is, how in the world can any sane individual argue that Lloyd, who is presently 37 and says she wouldn’t have time to train to play football until she’s 38, could become one of the 32 best field goal kickers in the world? (I say world because many field goal kickers are foreign).

Can you find me any other sport in American history where someone has never done it before and become a pro after starting at the age of 38?

This is like watching Tim Tebow hit a 400 yard drive and saying he should play on the PGA Tour or watching Johnny Manziel hit a homerun in batting practice and say he should play major league baseball. Both are impressive feats the vast majority of people could not do, but neither man would be remotely qualified to go pro in another sport.

Put it this way, how many pro athletes who dominate in their own sports also play golf? How many of those great pro athletes have ever been able to become professional golfers?

Zero.

What’s more, if what Lloyd is attempting were possible, why would every American male pro soccer player, all of whom are better at soccer than she is, not abandon playing MLS soccer for around $100k a year and make millions kicking in the NFL instead?

I’ll tell you, it’s because these guys aren’t good enough to become pro field goal kickers either!

This isn’t about sex, it’s about a lack of comprehension of how difficult it is to be a pro field goal kicker.

Every year hundreds of field goal kickers graduate from college and attempt to become pro field goal kickers. Do you know how many do it? Two or three.

Every year!

And these are guys who have been training as field goal kickers, often, for decades.

That’s because field goal kickers, like any other pro athlete, train for decades to perfect their skill. It takes tremendous dedication, skill, time and talent to become a professional kicker. And the jobs are so competitive that there are hundreds of men hoping to one day to just get a shot for a tryout.

Yet some people are willing to believe that because Lloyd made a field goal at practice — without wearing a helmet and pads and while running up like it was a kickoff instead of a field goal — that she’s somehow capable of playing in the NFL?

I mean, it’s just absolutely ridiculous.

This isn’t a sports argument, it’s a #girlpower political Tweet brought to the gridiron.

What Lloyd did is the equivalent of putting a tee on the 45 yard line and then running forward like it’s a kickoff and putting the ball through the uprights.

I think every major college football kicker in America could do this and most of them will come anywhere near the NFL.

Again, think about what happens in college football when there’s a personal foul penalty and the ball is kicked off from midfield instead of the 35. The ball gets drilled through the back of the end zone every time, often through the uprights.

That’s what Lloyd did.

Good for her, but there are hundreds of thousands of people who can do this in America, if not millions, and only 32 jobs as an NFL kicker.

Plus, none of this even considers the larger questions of how absurd she’d look standing 5’7″ and weighing 140 pounds in a uniform — like a much tinier Martin Gramatica — and what would happen if, god forbid, she was in a game and her kick was blocked.

She might die, honestly.

She’d definitely get put in concussion protocol. (Which points out the tremendous irony here. The woke media hates football because it represents toxic masculinity, yet they desperately want a woman to get destroyed trying to play the game?)

This is just not a debate that a reasonably intelligent person could even engage in. This is a transparently manufactured argument by the same #girlpower shills who have argued for equal pay for the women’s soccer team even though the women are already paid more than the men.

Men and women have equal in rights in this country.

But men and women’s athletic abilities are not equal. Men are much better athletes in all sports than women are. That’s why there is a division between men’s and women’s sports, because if there wasn’t then hardly any women would ever make a team, much less ever win a title. Hell, if the Olympics didn’t separate men and women then women might have never won a medal in Olympics history.

Men are bigger, stronger and faster than women.

This isn’t sexism, it’s just basic biology.

Yes, some women are better than some men in sports, but no women are better than the best men, or even close to as good as them.

Last year in Texas every boy’s state track and field champion would have set an all time women’s Olympic record in every track and field event. These are teenage boys in high school in one state in one year and they are performing better than any women in the world have ever done in the history of women’s athletics in track and field.

I wish Carli Lloyd well in her post-soccer career and she has the right to attempt anything she’d like, including attempting to be an NFL kicker. That’s the beauty of America. But I would wager every spare dollar I own that she will never make an NFL team or even come close to making one.

Now the NFL, in an effort to appear woke, may very well let her kick sometime in a preseason game, but they will just be doing it as a publicity stunt.

She has a 0% chance of making an NFL team and anyone arguing otherwise is either too dumb to understand how dumb their argument is or is making the argument for political reasons.

I’m honestly not sure which is worse.

A bunch of you emailed, DMed, or sent me Twitter messages about the huge ESPN feature on the bisexual NFL player no one has ever heard of.

The above Tweet shows that the lead ESPN story this morning, on the day after college football started and the fourth NFL preseason game was played by all 32 NFL teams, is about a dude no one has ever heard of announcing he’s bisexual.

One of my kids woke me up at 2:30 this morning with a bloodcurdling nightmare scream and I couldn’t go back to sleep. So I checked my phone to see whether the under hit in BYU-Utah and when I did I couldn’t believe the lead story on ESPN.

I did a legit double take.

Really, on the night/early morning of college football coming back and the NFL preseason ending the lead story is about a guy no one has ever heard of announcing he’s bisexual?

There is no way in hell the average person visiting ESPN.com is most interested in that story.

No. Way.

This is all a part of interjecting left wing politics into sports, a manufactured story placed prominently to get as much attention as possible.

As if that weren’t enough, ESPN put this dude announcing he was bisexual on their sports ticker as breaking news for 24 hours.

All during the college football games last night they ran this news on a constant loop at the bottom of the screen.

If you sat down on your couch with your son or daughter to watch some college football, ESPN put this news in their face over and over and over again, dozens of times as breaking news, right alongside all of the sports scores that usually populate the ticker.

I honestly thought I was being pranked. How in the world is the 3000th or 4000th best NFL player announcing he’s bisexual a breaking news story? What’s more, how in the world can you make any argument other than this is WokeCenter at play? These are editors and executives in positions of power choosing to make this guy a story because they want to make political statements instead of covering actual sports stories.

Look, I’m pro gay marriage and am perfectly fine with consenting adults doing whatever makes them happy when it comes to their sexual choices. I’m very much a libertarian when it comes to sex, drugs, and gambling. I don’t want the government spending my tax dollars trying to keep someone from embracing a lifestyle that makes them happier.

But I also don’t think it’s a big deal when someone is gay, bisexual, straight, transgender or whatever sexual lifestyle they choose to embrace. In fact, isn’t that what we’re preached to all the time, that someone’s sexuality is their own choice and it isn’t a big deal?

So why is a story like this a big deal then?

This is social justice warrioring extremism.

What ESPN hopes is that an athlete or coach Tweets or says something negative about this man’s decision so they can use this as evidence of how “intolerant” athletes still are and turn this story into a demand for tolerance. This story, like all stories of its ilk, would end with an athlete, owner or coach being sent to a left wing bootcamp where they would be told what they are allowed to say publicly.

What’s wild is the vast, vast majority of sports fans watching these games last night also don’t think this a guy they’ve never heard of announcing he’s bisexual is a breaking news story either. But most people are afraid to say anything about how ridiculous this is because they’re afraid they’ll be branded intolerant if they do. Hell, I’m sure there are editors at ESPN who felt this way too. When this story was pitched to them they probably thought, “Why is an NFL player no one knows announcing he’s bisexual a big story?”

But did they say that?

I doubt it.

Because they were afraid the woke social media universe would come after them if they dared to express doubt about the validity of this story as a news leader.

As if this weren’t enough, this also seems like a desperate and transparent ploy from a player who isn’t particularly good to draw attention to himself as his career ends. Otherwise who’s stopping you from living your lifestyle? You’re not in the league because you aren’t a difference maker.

Trust me, if an NFL player can dominate at his position fans and teams have proven again and again that they are totally amoral when it comes to how he chooses to live his life.

Hell, a gay man is beating Donald Trump right now in a head-to-head match up to be elected president of the United States. Now we can certainly debate whether that poll is accurate, but I think we’ve reached the point as a country where if someone like Mayor Pete loses an election it’s not going to be because he’s gay. (People who are truly opposed to gay lifestyle issues were probably not voting for him already and I don’t think swing voters would make this very impactful in their decision-making.)

I think sports fans are pretty much the same way.

We just don’t care about sexuality. Do what makes you happy.

As I said in my book, if a transgender lesbian midget could play quarterback better than Tom Brady, every NFL fan base would want that little person signed to a long term contract by their favorite team.

All that matters in sports today is talent and production.

That’s it.

Blake writes:

“Big debate in my friend group. What is the best type of pie? I’m firm on apple being overrated.”

There is no definite answer here because everyone’s pie palate is different, but my pie rankings are as follows:

1. Pecan pie

2. Blackberry cobbler (I think a cobbler counts as a pie here)

3. Peach cobbler

4. Apple pie/cobbler

5. Peach cobbler

6. Blueberry cobbler

7. Chess pie

And while I’m the most tolerant and inclusive person on the planet, if you think blackberry isn’t the best cobbler, I’ll fight you.

Jay writes:

“Who do you have in the chicken sandwich wars?”

You’d have to pry a chick fil a sandwich out of my cold, dead hands.

No way, no how I’m ever leaving them for anyone else.

Chris writes:

“How about Demarcus Cousins getting arrested? You only missed it by four years!”

This is a bad beat for me.

I Tweeted a decade ago that Demarcus Cousins would get arrested within five years — at the time I Tweeted it he was being T’ed up and kicked out of a Vanderbilt-Kentucky basketball game — and four years ago that date came and went and Cousins Tweeted it out to everyone.

The story became the number one story in all of sports for that day.

I admitted I’d been wrong — honestly, I had no recollection of sending the Tweet — and donated $5k to Cousins charity as a gesture of good will for being wrong.

Then, boom, four years later Cousins gets arrested for threatening to kill his son’s mom.

So will everyone who criticized me apologize now?

What’s more, look at the relative paucity of coverage surrounding this story. When an NFL player misbehaves it’s everywhere. Hell, look at what happened to Tyreek Hill and Kareem Hunt and neither even got charged with a crime. Yet Cousins is still employed by the Lakers and the NBA has done nothing to him at all.

It’s wild.

Ryan writes:

“Please compare and contrast the Carli Lloyd-NFL reaction to the could-you-score-a-single-point-against-Serena reaction.” 

This is a fantastic question.

If a man thought he could score a point against Serena he was a sexist imbecile, but if you don’t believe Carli Lloyd can kick in an NFL game than you’re a sexist imbecile.

So great.

The lesson here, at least according to the woke media, is men are all sexist imbeciles no matter what they think.

By the way, compare the reaction whenever anyone argues a college football team could beat an NFL team. Most people say the argument is crazy. Yet the college football team is playing the same sport and many of them will one day be professionals.

But that argument is crazy, not the one about the 38 year old woman who has never played football before and wants to give it a try.

It’s just an absolutely insane time we live in.

Go play our college football pick’em and good luck on your weekend picks.

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