Okay, here we go with the anonymous mailbag:
As always, send your anonymous mailbag questions to firstname.lastname@example.org, anonymity guaranteed.
“My wife and I have been married 2 years. We have a seemingly normal sex life and have never been swingers or bisexual. She recently asked me if I would be interested in adding another girl into the bedroom, I told her that every man would want 2 girls if they had a chance. I’m not very adventurous in the bedroom but this has my head spinning. She said the other girl couldn’t be anyone that we know. So I’ve got a couple questions-
1) how/where do we meet a girl that would be interested in this?
2) should I be worried that my wife may enjoy the girl on girl and switch teams?”
Let’s take these questions in reverse order: girls don’t have to switch teams because girls who like other girls are awesome. So it’s highly unlikely that your wife, who married you, is going to suddenly decide she’s a lesbian because she has a threesome with you and another girl.
Here’s the other thing, half of all marriages end in divorce. I’m honestly not sure there is a better way to have a marriage end than your wife deciding she’s a lesbian after a series of torrid threesomes alongside you with a variety of women. Which then leads to your wife becoming a lesbian nymphomaniac and abandoning her interest in men.
Do you really lose that much here? Yes, you’re divorced, but it wouldn’t be through any fault of your own. As long as you don’t have kids, I see this as the best possible way that any marriage could end.
Plus, again, the odds of your wife switching teams are minimal.
I’ve written about this quite a bit, but the sexes are different here and I think this issue, more so than any other, sums it up perfectly.
If your wife comes to you and says she’s turned on by other women and wants to have a threesome, just about every husband is thrilled beyond belief and finds his wife even hotter. If your husband comes to you and says he’s turned on by other men and wants to have a threesome, just about every woman is disgusted and wants a divorce.
As for where you find a girl, that’s your wife’s job. But I’d suggest breaking the ice by going to Vegas and letting her pick an escort there.
Have fun…until your wife leaves you and becomes a lesbian.
“I’m in my mid 30’s divorced with a kid. I recently was transferred by my company to a well known SEC town and life has been good. I developed a great relationship with a beautiful, sexy coed. Way out of my league but it was great. We hit it off great in every area especially the bedroom where we did lots of really fun kinky sex including anal sex and some mild ass play amongst other things. This went on for about 6 months and we even developed feelings for each other. Until a few weeks ago when she told me what she wanted to do. She asked to blow me while i was on the toilet taking a shit! She said this was a fantasy she had and never told anyone but really wanted to do. Well I immediately called it quits and she was terribly hurt because we had prided our relationship on being honest and non-judgementally to each other. I felt bad somewhat and i have kept her secret and always will because i did care for her. So my question is this the absolute worst fetish possible and how fucked up psychologically is this issue?”
You’re in your mid 30’s, divorced and an SEC coed wants to blow you.
Unless she wants to blow you on top of the dead body of a person you murdered together or inside of a bank vault while both of you rob that bank, I’d shut up and let her blow you.
More seriously, some people have strange fetishes. Breaking up because someone shares one with you that you don’t like the idea of is a total pussy move.
Decline and move on if you’re so troubled by a partner’s request.
Put it this way, if every woman left a man every time he asked her to do something she didn’t want to do sexually, there would be no marriages in this country.
“I was recently on an international flight and there was a mom traveling solo with 2 children and a baby (maybe 6 months). About 2 hours into the flight, I smelled the most horrible stench, I’m talking absolutely rancid, and its power grew by the second.
“I travel a lot for work (military) so sometimes I am away for months at a time. I love my family, so obviously, I really look forward to coming home. One of the best reasons is that it’s like my wife and I are back on our honeymoon. I feel super lucky that after 15+ years of marriage, my wife and I are still great in bed. The problem I have is, during the first couple times, my wife cry-maxes. She gets super emotional about our reunion and cries during it. This is my only complaint about our love life. I have two questions for you, 1) is this at all normal? 2) Am I a jerk that I’m not that emotional and that this kinda bugs me?”
I haven’t heard of this happening, but sex, especially for women, can be emotional so it’s not a huge surprise for me that something like this could happen.
I’m also not surprised that you don’t want to see your wife crying while you have sex.
Having said that, I certainly wouldn’t want to bring this up with her or say that it bothers you. After all, you’re having honeymoon sex fifteen years after you got married.
Why screw this up by making an issue of something that I bet your wife wishes wasn’t happening too?
My advice is always this — if things are going great in your marriage, don’t open your mouth and make things stop going great in your marriage.
Send your anonymous mailbag questions to email@example.com, anonymity guaranteed.