Anonymous Mailbag

At the beginning of the the anonymous mailbag this week, I want to hit you with a request — my new book, “Republicans Buy Sneakers Too” comes out a week from today. Right now it’s $17 on Amazon. I don’t ask for much from you guys, but it would really be great if you guys would go buy a copy of the book — I also personally recorded the entire nine hour unabridged audio if you’d rather listen to me read it. 

If you want an autographed copy of the book — I won’t be able to do as many public book signings as I would like because my radio and TV obligations make travel difficult now — you get a free autographed copy of the book as part of a yearly subscription to the VIP. Week four college football picks are up on the VIP message board and we’re at 58% winners so far this year.

Okay, the anonymous mailbag is presented by my guy Ryan Kelley at The Home Loan Expert. Own a home but also have too much credit card debt? Go to their website today and by this time next week your credit card debt can be wiped out and you can have a brand new low rate mortgage. Put your financial house in order just in time for football season by wiping out your credit card debt and visiting him today Also, if you use The Home Loan Expert and tell them Outkick and Clay Travis sent you, you get a free year’s VIP subscription.

Here we go with the anonymous mailbag.

“I live in Metro Atlanta, so everyone is obsessed with college football. On my street every house has some team flag flying on their front door or in their yard. So our neighborhood has this Next Door App that is supposed to keep you updated on what’s happening in the neighborhood; it’s like Facebook but for your community. And it’s absolute gold! Apparently someone in our neighborhood has been going around to every house that has an Ohio State flag or OSU license plate and putting letters in the mailbox that just say #UrbanKnew.
Someone posts it in Next Door and now all the OSU fans are saying they feel threatened and want the police involved because they consider it terroristic threats. I think it’s hilarious and imagine some 8th grader on his bicycle at night just dropping these in the mailboxes. As a lawyer, do they have a case here or they over reacting because their favorite coach is a liar and college football brings out the worst in all of us?”
God bless college football.
I absolutely love everything about this story.
If anyone calls the police on this they should be ashamed.
Because this is hysterical. If I were an Ohio State fan and I opened my mailbag and saw this letter I’d definitely laugh really hard. This would be the funniest mail I’ve gotten in a long time. We all need to take things in life much less seriously. Especially things, like this, that we have no real control over.
By the way, I’m told neighborhoods like this are filled with drama on NextDoor and Facebook private communities. I spend no time on social media in my private life so I have no idea about any of these controversies. I get enough social media drama in my actual job.
Last year my mom got mad about a food truck parking near her place and set off a neighborhood war about food trucks that ended in her telling everyone to go to hell.
My mom is a Southern senior citizen with impeccable manners. And everyone was coming up to me asking, “Did you see what your mom put on the Facebook group?!”
And I was like, “What the hell? I’m supposed to be the controversial one and my mom is getting in social media battles over where food trucks park?”
This is why I had to ban her from ever commenting on social media about any of my articles. She was too much of a wild card. The last thing I need is for the media to start covering my mom’s comments too.

“Clay,

I drank at high school parties. Sometimes, shocker, when I would drink with somebody’s parents out of town, we would either make out with the girls there or try to make out with the girls there. I’ve read the allegations this woman has made against Kavanaugh and my mind is blown.

Am I alone in thinking that guys try to make out with girls at high school parties and get rejected — or accepted — all the time? If this disqualifies you from ever being a Supreme Court Justice, how has any man ever served on the court?”

I got a bunch of anonymous emails — and Friday mailbag emails — about Bret Kavanaugh and as a result I’m going to spend the entire Outkick the Show on this story this afternoon. So get your popcorn.

This entire story is absolute insanity to me.

First, Kavanaugh denies this ever happened. He also has a witness, the person the woman named who was in the room, who also claims this never happened. Having said that, when someone accuses you of sexual assault, how do you disprove it 36 years later? It’s impossible. That’s especially the case when we’re in this strange world where you have to respect the accuser’s claim because she’s a woman. (Seriously, this is a real argument that people make now, that you can’t combat an accuser because of her sex. That, to me, is totally sexist.

Look, I’ve got a crazy idea, I look at the facts of every case. Sometimes I believe the woman — like with Jameis Winston’s accuser and the Ohio State mess surrounding Courtney Smith — and sometimes I don’t believe the woman — like with the Peyton Manning mooning story and the Ezekiel Elliott allegations. In all of these cases I read all the facts and made a determination based on the publicly available evidence, just like a juror would. I didn’t blindly believe the man or woman and I didn’t blindly believe the white guy or the black guy or the white woman or the black woman.

You don’t have to agree with me on all of these opinions, but I do think it’s crazy that the number one thing I hear from criticism is, “Well, you didn’t believe the woman last time and now you do. What’s changed?”

Uh, the facts.

I’ve got a second crazy idea, I think race and gender shouldn’t matter at all when you decide what you believe about a particular story. I think the facts should always be paramount.

Having said all that, let’s presume this event actually happened — two guys went into a bedroom with a girl and one of those guys tried to make out with her — including rubbing her body while he did so — and the girl rejected his advance and then both guys ended up wrestling each other instead and she fled the bedroom then and left the party.

Is that behavior by a 17 year old boy criminal in nature?

I don’t think so.

In fact, if you thought it was criminal wouldn’t you have done something way back in 1982? Instead of waiting for 36 years to go public about a bad high school experience featuring a prominent man.

What we’ve got going on here is a guy is now 53 years old and everything he’s done throughout his entire life has been scrutinized for months. (And prior to that by the FBI through rigorous background checks for multiple other jobs.) And the absolute worst allegation — remember, this is just an allegation — you can find out about him is that when he was 17 years old he tried to hook up with a girl at a drunken high school house party and she was mad at him and didn’t welcome his advances?!

To me, this makes him a saint.

Furthermore, the allegations here just don’t make any sense. So Kavanaugh and a buddy went up to a bedroom with this girl and they turned up the radio to listen to the music. Then Kavanaugh tries to drunkenly make out with her, she objects, he covers her mouth to keep her from yelling, and then his buddy tackles him and they start wrestling and she leaves the bedroom and never says anything to anyone about it for decades.

Then thirty six years later she calls that sexual assault and says she feared for her life?

I’m sorry, every time a guy makes an advance on you and you reject him, it isn’t sexual assault. There’s no suggestion that he was naked or that she had her clothing removed or any kind of penetration without her consent happened. Or that he kept her locked up in the room for hours or anything like that. To me, this is a drunk high school kid awkwardly attempting to make out with another high school kid who may well have been drunk.

There is a 0% chance anyone would have prosecuted this case in 1982 and there’s a 0% chance anyone would prosecute this case in 2018. And that’s assuming everything she’s saying is 100% true.

Which he denies.

Plus, did I mention this was 36 years ago!

36 years ago!

I was three years old when this happened and I’m nearly forty years old now.

The fact that we’re holding Senate Judiciary Committee hearings on high school party allegations from 1982 is the height of absurdity. At least the sexual harassment allegations against Clarence Thomas came when he was an adult and in a supervisory role.

The only reason this is a story now is because she’s a far left wing liberal and he’s a conservative judge up for a prominent job. If he were a left winger I believe she would have written a letter to her congresswoman expressing her support for his nomination. You can’t tell me politics aren’t involved here.

Furthermore, and this is key, this is the worst allegation anyone can find about this guy?! He’s 53 years old and the worst thing you can ever find he did was at 17 years old she alleges that he drunkenly groped her and tried to hook up with her at a drunken high school party. Again, he denies this, and has a witness saying it never happened, but even if this were true it sounds like a really awkward high school interaction where a guy thinks a girl wants to make out, he’s wrong, and then she leaves.

Is it great behavior? No way. I wish high schoolers never had awkward drunken sex encounters, but if you told most parents that the absolute worst thing their son would do in 53 years of his life was get drunk and try and make out with a girl — who rejected him and left the party angry at his behavior — would you think he’d forever harmed his ability to get a top job?

I think everyone would say no way.

And, again, he even denies this happened and has a witness saying it didn’t happen.

As if that weren’t enough, both of the people here were juveniles. Even if this had been prosecuted it would have been a juvenile case and the file would have been destroyed when both people reached the age of majority. Do you know why that would have happened? Because we believe that juveniles shouldn’t have their childhood mistakes keep them from achieving success as adults. Even if her story were 100% accurate, which I don’t believe it is, I don’t think it should impact whether he becomes a Supreme Court justice.

There are many reasons it’s perfectly fine to oppose Bret Kavanaugh’s Supreme Court nomination, but this allegation from a high school party in 1982 isn’t one of them.

I’d say that whether this guy (or girl) was a liberal, a conservative or a moderate trying to join the supreme court.

This entire story is patently absurd and I think most reasonable people, if you strip away the politics, agree with me too.

“This coming weekend, I have a wedding of a long time childhood friend.  We see each other about once a year.  For whatever reason, they are holding the wedding in a prominent southern college town that happens to be where I went to school.  However, neither of them did and both of their families live several hours away from said town.

Well as you know it’s the greatest time of the year and I really hate missing football games.  Not a big game, but any opportunity to watch football with the boys is something I can’t pass up.  Plus I won’t really know anyone at this wedding and my girlfriend can’t make it.  I RSVP’d.  Can I send a gift instead?”
Any man who goes to a wedding by himself during football season is a damn fool.
The fact that you even emailed me asking this is pure crazy town.
Send the gift and otherwise bail. (By the way, men who aren’t married shouldn’t be obligated to send gifts either. I feel strongly about this. I’m sorry, I’ll give you some cash the next time we’re out at the bar. There’s a zero percent chance I’m looking up your goddamn wedding registry and scrolling through everything you put on that thing to give you a gift.)
If my wife didn’t send gifts, I never would have given a wedding gift other than cash that I pulled out of my wallet at the wedding in my life.
This also means, by the way, it’s possible we’ve never given a gift to anyone at a wedding. I assume my wife has done it, but now that I think about it I really don’t know for sure.
“I grew up in a safe, affluent suburb of a major Midwest city. My parents came from working class families and devoted their time and money to giving my siblings and me the best life possible. They sent 4 kids to Catholic schools K-12 and have given us every opportunity to have a successful future. The point is – we were very lucky to have the life we were given.

Fast forward to the present and my older sister (I’m the 2nd oldest – we’re in our late-20s) is a full-blown Social Justice Warrior. She participates in all kinds of marches, is a huge feminist, calls me a patriarch for going to an all-boys school (she went to an all-girls high school!!), and sends us defaming articles about white people. Aside from the fact that those articles are racist, we are white!!! That’s only a small sample, but more than enough to get the picture.

I’ve told my parents that I think she’s crazy (re: her Facebook posts), but they are blinded. She’s their oldest, and they would never turn their backs on any of their children. My sister and I disagree on nearly everything, and I fear for the future when my parents aren’t around anymore…

Because we grew up in the exact same environment, I’ll never understand her world views.

My question is this: How in the fuck did this happen? Why is she trying to fight the good fight for a cause that she has never lived? How did I turn out the way I did and she turned out the way she did? It’s actually fascinating that our thought processes could be so different. Do you find this as perplexing as I do?

What’s my best course of action, considering the rest of my life I will always have a SJW sister?”

The solution here is pretty simple, don’t discuss politics with her and encourage her to stop sharing her beliefs with you all the time.

Your issue isn’t necessarily her opinions — I’m sure you’d agree we all have the right to our beliefs — it’s that she’s trying to convince you her beliefs are correct and yours are wrong. That’s the root of the conflict. That’s also what I would tell your parents if, for some reason, you feel the need to complain about her to them. (You shouldn’t feel this need once you are grown up, by the way. It isn’t your parents job to mediate disputes between you for the rest of your life. You’re adults now too.)

As for why you grew up with totally different opinions, it’s because, thankfully, every person is different. Once you’re  a parent with your own kids you’ll understand how fascinating this is. You can raise every one of your kids the exact same way and they will turn out completely different. Because we all have our unique DNA code and personal life experiences that make us who we are.

All of our brains don’t work the same. I think that’s the best thing about being a parent, seeing each kid develop their own unique personality.

My two oldest boys are nothing alike, but that makes me love them each all the more. I’m sure your parents are the same way.

If they grow up and have different political beliefs then I’d hope when they come home for Thanksgiving they can put aside their politics and just have a good time at our house being together. If they can’t then I’ll make a family rule, no politics at the dinner table.

My grandmother used to say you never talk politics or religion with strangers. I think, increasingly, the same rule can be applied in families too.

“My fiancée, Sarah, and I are getting married this Saturday in Asheville, NC. We’re starting to receive messages from family and friends a few days before the wedding that they are cancelling because of the possible hurricane path. I’m sending you this email for two reasons:
1) Sarah now says the official motto of the Ryan Reynolds-Sarah Booker wedding is DBAP because of these losers who will not make it.
2) We now have a few extra spots if you and your wife would like to attend. It will be at Grove Park, so it’s worth your while if you can make it!”
I meant to put this in the Friday mailbag and then forgot.
First, congrats on the wedding.
Second, does no one have a map? If you didn’t go to Asheville, North Carolina, which is nearly on the border with Tennessee, because you were worried about the hurricane you’re either a total pussy or you’re full of crap and just using the hurricane as an excuse to avoid the wedding. (Unless, that is, you were already from North or South Carolina and lived closer to the coast).
It sounds to me like some people were just using whatever excuse they could to get out of your fall wedding.
“Clay, I’m a mess. I’ve been on anti depressants for about 8 years. I also self cope with alcohol way more then I should. I’m doing about 8-12 shots of vodka a day. I have a beautiful wife and 2 great kids. My question is this, I have a work from home sales job that I make about $80,000 a year. But the best part is I’m home all the time. It’s great for my anxiety.
I try and stick to a routine so I don’t get too many highs and lows. But I also live in Orange County, California and $80,000 a year is nothing and we’re riddled in debt. I’ve looked into other higher paying jobs but they would require travel and or heading to an office. My mental makeup can’t take that right now. I’m just hanging on. Do I take the chance and get a new job or ride it out and get healthy? I’ve done therapy but it wasn’t for me. Any advice would help.”
You definitely don’t need to change your job.
And you probably need help with your alcohol issues. If you’re doing 8-12 shots of vodka a day you’re a full blown alcoholic. Now you may be a functional alcoholic, but you’re an alcoholic. (The fact that you’re drinking vodka makes me think you’re trying to hide it from others because the smell isn’t as noticeable.)
If you’re able to work from home, could you continue to do your job outside of Orange County? Potentially in another region of your state or in, potentially, another state? That might help to alleviate some of the financial pressures you feel, which might help lessen your depression and also make you less prone to needing alcohol.
Good luck, your family needs you sober.

Send your anonymous mailbag questions to claytravis@gmail.com

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