Anonymous Mailbag

I will have a booksigning in Nashville tomorrow at 7 pm central at the Barnes & Noble on West End Avenue on Vanderbilt’s campus. Hope to see many of there. I will also be signing Saturday at The Hidden Lantern in Rosemary Beach at noon. Hope to see many of y’all there as well. I was going to be at Sundog Books in Seaside, but they became the first bookstore to cancel an appearance because they disagreed with my opinions. 

Really, this happened. 

Notwithstanding some of the triggered reactions out there my new book, “Republicans Buy Sneakers Too” has been out for a week today. I am blown away by the number of you guys who have already bought copies. If you haven’t already bought it’s $16 on Amazon. I don’t ask for much from you guys — in fact, all of my content has always been free on this site, on radio, and on Periscope and Facebook — but I would really appreciate it if you would go buy a copy of my book — I also personally recorded the entire nine hour unabridged audio if you’d rather listen to me read it. 

You guys have already blown away the publisher — they’ve had to go back to the printer twice — with your support of this book. What I’d love for you to do now is if you enjoyed the book tell people about it. I’ve done just about everything I can to make the

If you want an autographed copy of the book — I won’t be able to do as many public book signings as I would like because my radio and TV obligations make travel difficult now — you get a free autographed copy of the book as part of a yearly subscription to the VIP. Week six college football picks are up on the VIP message board and we’re at over 60% winners so far this year.

Okay, the anonymous mailbag is presented by my guy Ryan Kelley at The Home Loan Expert. Own a home but also have too much credit card debt? Go to their website today and by this time next week your credit card debt can be wiped out and you can have a brand new low rate mortgage. Put your financial house in order just in time for football season by wiping out your credit card debt and visiting him today Also, if you use The Home Loan Expert and tell them Outkick and Clay Travis sent you, you get a free year’s VIP subscription.

Here we go with the anonymous mailbag.

As always you can email your anonymous mailbag questions to claytravis@gmail.com, anonymity guaranteed.

“I work in the financial services industry and have been in my current role for about 15 years. I made a very good living with a wife, two kids, nice house, beach house and other nice things. I landed a new account  in May that changed all that from a very good living to an absolute great living. This account is truly life changing and in all of the work changing their stuff over I had an affair with the intern (20 years old and smoking hot) over the summer. My wife found out and has acted as what I can only call strange. She hasn’t spoken a lot about it other than to tell me not to embarrass her and our sex life has greatly improved from once a month to three times a week. I am preparing mentally and financially for a divorce but my friends say that she understands what happened and all is fine. Thoughts?”

I’d keep my mouth shut if I were you — to avoid more public discussion of your infidelity — and just see how this plays out.

I think that there are many women out there who don’t particularly care if their husband sleeps with other women so long as their friends and family, and particularly other women, don’t know this is happening too. Think about it, how often have you seen a politician’s wife divorce him once his affairs go public? Yet she didn’t care about decades of cheating that was happening before?

She isn’t leaving him for the cheating, she’s leaving him for embarrassing her in public.

As for why you’re having more sex now, I think your wife is probably also blaming the lack of sex frequency for your decision to cheat. She believes if she sleeps with you more then you’ll be less likely to stray. And, honestly, I tend to think this is probably true.

I’d love to see an accurate study on this, but I would bet that the less sex a couple has the more likely a man is to cheat. In other words, I think it’s much less statistically likely that men sleeping with their wives every day — or even four or five times a week — are cheating on their wives or girlfriends than men who sleep with their wives or girlfriends only once a week.

Maybe I’m wrong on this, but I think it makes some intuitive sense — men are more likely to stray when sex is less frequent at home.

The real question here, which most women would never answer honestly, is this, would your average woman rather be married to a man who makes $40k a year, but will never cheat on her, or married to a man who makes $500k a year, but will occasionally cheat on her.

Most women would publicly say, “Oh, I’d pick the man making $40k a year, but I think most women privately, especially if they were the only people who knew about it, would pick the man making $500k a year.

Which reminds me of one of the great athlete wife quotes of all time. Michael Cooper’s wife was asked whether all the sex the showtime era Lakers were having bothered her. Her response, Nope, that’s just one less blow job I have to give at home.”

That might be the greatest sports quote of all time.

Right up there with Shaq saying he was like the pythagorean theorem, there was no answer.

“Alright Clay, I need you to put your lawyer hat on. My lesbian friends who are engaged (yes they are hot) want to have a kid but they asked for my sperm. As of right now, I have agreed. I trust both of them very much but what legal action do I have to worry about? They said they want me to sign papers that would forfeit any legal action but do those papers actually hold up? What else might I be missing here? I planned on being apart of the kid’s life as the cool rich uncle.”

I’m not an expert on family law, but you need to retain your own lawyer to ensure you aren’t financially responsible for this baby in the event this couple gets divorced and one of the moms decides to come after you for child support. That is, don’t just rely on the papers their lawyer draws up, get your own to review them too. Sure, it will cost you a bit of money, but you need to make sure you’re covered here.

Secondly, since they are hot lesbians, I think you should make an argument that natural, organic fertilization is much more wholesome and healthy for a child than chemical, test tube fertilization.

Good luck.

“Wanted to know your thoughts on this situation, especially with what is happening in America right now, between the Supreme Court and everything else the SJW are up in arms about. My wife was watching TV and I was on my laptop with the TV as background noise while I worked.  She was watching Real Housewives. 

Suddenly I found myself watching as the following unfolded on the show.  8 drunk women in their 50s? were out to dinner and started talking about blowjobs and anal sex. This went on for 5 min after editing, so I’m guessing 20+ minutes.  Then, after this conversation, they dared one of the women to try and kiss the male waiter. 

She literally grabbed his head and tried to kiss him while he kept turning away.  This was aired on a highly rated TV show that women love.  Now my question.  Can you imagine the outrage if this was 8 drunk men and a female waitress?  There would be riots, lawsuits, I can’t even imagine what else.  I think this is a perfect example of how gender can radically change the view of a situation, from funny and ratings driving to probable lawsuits and jail time, all from the same behavior.”

If white men did this on video to a black waitress they would all lose their jobs and they would probably be put in jail. And everyone would use it as evidence of white privilege.

If men do it, it’s wrong and offensive. If white men do it, they should be immediately put in jail.

But if women do it, it’s silly and all in good fun.

Perfect media example, one of the “allegations” against Bret Kavanaugh is that he took his dick out and waved it in front of a girl when he was drunk at a Yale party as a freshman. He denies doing it. But many women — and men — who oppose his nomination are arguing this is sexual assault.

Let’s change up the situation here, what if a hot undergrad girl got drunk, lifted her top and rubbed her boobs all over a drunk guy’s face. Then that girl became a nominee for the Supreme Court 35 years later. Would anyone argue this was sexual assault? Would anyone take a man seriously if he claimed that 35 years later he’d been unable to overcome that time he got drunk in college and a girl put her boobs in his face without his consent? Can you imagine him testifying in front of the Senate and everyone apologizing to him and saying how brave he was for coming forward?

That would be ridiculous, right?

My point here is pretty simple, if you don’t like someone, fine, but don’t expand the definitions of sexual assault to the point where flashing your boobs is sexual assault.

In all honesty, we have to treat the sexes the same. If a man does it and it’s unacceptable then a woman doing it should be unacceptable too. (My standard by the way is for leniency here. The last thing I want to do is turn Mardi Gras boob flashing into a felony).

And I’ll be damned if anyone is going to turn boob flashing into a bad thing.

A man’s got to believe in something in this world.

And for better or worse I believe in the first amendment and boobs.

“I am mid a 30s married man with two kids and love my family lifestyle, but like many married men I am not immune to pictures of hot girls. I occasionally scroll through facebook looking for articles to read and get sidetracked by pics of hot girls. I have been noticing recently that these hot girls are sometimes older women (age is tough to gauge, but i assume 50+ based on age of children). I have always thought that women over 50 typically look like Betty White, but i am not sure if that opinion was influenced by being surrounded by SEC college girls. Is this a sign of the times/fashions changing (for the better!) or does our idea of attractiveness change as we mature?
I am hoping to get to the bookstore later this week to pick up the new book.  Hopefully they haven’t burned them all by then!”
Two things: 1. As you age your own age range of acceptable hotness expands 2. women are hotter now at older ages than they were when we were young. They’re in better shape and fake boobs are much more common which makes them all look younger.
Today’s fifty is not your grandma’s fifty.
Final thought, who the hell goes on Facebook looking for articles to read? Get a life, man.
“I am a pretty big fan and listener of yours, primarily for sports (I played and still love SEC football) and secondarily for political reasoning. One thing that I love in most of your analyses, regardless of the subject, is that you take out your feelings and biases and focus on facts so that you do not get caught up in making emotion based decisions. That is something I always strive to do in many areas of my life. 
That being said, I would like for you to share your factual reasoning behind your support for abortion. I have never seen a scientific argument, reasoning, or fact that has pointed me towards believing that an unborn child is anything other than a living human being. 
Regardless of your response, I will continue to be a fan because of my love for SEC football and my disdain for political correctness. I do not care if you put my email in either of the mailbags or just respond personally. My only wish is that you, as an influential voice, would examine the facts and reconsider your stance on the most evil thing that has ever entered our society.”
I don’t support abortion. I believe it should be safe, legal and rare. That means I support the legality of abortion existing. I wish it never happened. And, honestly, I think our technology is moving in that direction. Every year there are fewer and fewer abortions than there were the year before. That’s because contraceptive — whether it’s the morning after pill or whatever — is becoming better used and more effective.
Personally, I wish instead of fighting over issues like abortion, we focused our time and energy on encouraging young kids to do three things: graduate from high school, don’t have a kid until you’re married, and wait until you’re at least 25 to have your first child. If a kid does those three things, then regardless of their race or gender the poverty rate in this country is virtually zero.
That doesn’t seem like an impossibly high goal. I wish the LeBron James’s of the world spent less time sharing their political opinions and spent more times telling kids to aim for this accomplishment. That could be truly transformative for our country.
I am pro-choice because I don’t believe 14 and 15 year old girls should be traveling across state lines under cover of darkness to avoid being forced to carrying a child for nine months. I believe medical decisions should be between a patient and a doctor. I’m also in favor, by the way, of assisted suicide for people with incurable diseases who are going to die soon.
Finally, based on your logic, aren’t all forms of contraception subverting god’s will? If you believe a baby is born and alive the moment a sperm meets an egg isn’t every technological method we’ve adopted to avoid contraception, from the pull out to a condom or plan b also tantamount to subverting god’s will? And if you truly believe that every time a sperm meets an egg a baby is born, shouldn’t the number of fetal miscarriages in this country be our nation’s top medical priority? After all, far more fetuses are miscarried than ever aborted.

Anyway, I don’t expect for everyone to agree with me on every issue and I certainly respect your own opinion, but I try to be straightforward in sharing all of my opinions so you can judge them as you see fit.

“I am a football season ticket holder at an ACC university. I took a buddy to our game last Saturday and when we arrived there was a very large woman sitting next to us.  The seats have attached cushions and backs on top of the bleachers, so each seat is clearly delineated.  The woman beside us was taking up substantial real estate in my seats.  My buddy and I are normal size guys and we could not fit in our seats.  I had to turn my shoulders towards the field just to fit.  On the other side of the woman, she was pushing the guy she was with out into the aisle.  When we came back to our seats in the third quarter, the man had been replaced by another large woman, so the situation was worse.  There was no way my buddy and I could sit there, so we went and sat with his uncle who had extra seats.  What’s the protocol in there?  I pay a lot of money for those seats and want to be able to enjoy them.
Thanks,
A white man afraid of being labeled a fat shamer”
Did you know that virtually all of America’s health care cost issues in this country would disappear if fat people just weren’t as fat?
Think about this for a minute, all of the arguing, all of the fighting, all of the insane health care insurance battles, it would virtually disappear overnight if fat people just weren’t as fat. And do you know what would need to happen in order for that to occur? FAT PEOPLE WOULD JUST NEED TO EAT LESS.
I feel like we’ve missed this point because there’s such a huge industry out there predicated on selling gym memberships and healthy eating, but the root cause of obesity is eating too much food. If you don’t eat as much, you lose weight. Aside from Hurley on Lost there has never been a fat person on an island who hasn’t lost a ton of weight? Do you know why they lose all that weight? Because they don’t have as much to eat!
Now exercise and eating healthy are great lifestyle choices, but the key to losing weight, by far, is just eating less.
Anyway, I’m off my soapbox. You did what I would do. She’s too fat for the seat, but she knows it. I’m not sure what you pointing that out would accomplish either.
Also, fat people, eat less and make America great again.
“I’ve been married a little over 4 years and we live about 40 minutes outside of Atlanta, which is booming in growth. I love hunting and business and I stumbled upon 6 acres of land that’s about a 25 minute drive from our house.

The land is bordered by a power line, has 200’ of road frontage, and is 10 minutes one way from a town and 10 minutes the other direction from a popular lake. 

I bought it for $15,000 without telling my wife. I have done research and checked tax records, and the land has a market value anywhere from the low to high thirties so I will get a great return. 
My goal for the land is to sit on it for 5-10 years, sell it, then take my wife on a Alaskan/Hawaii vacation. 
So what say you, do I tell her now that I bought it? Not tell her at all until I surprise her with the vacation and how we got the money? Or if she finds out I bought the land without her knowing, what do I do then? Sell the land and not let her spend any of the profits?”
You 100% tell your wife you bought the land and had to act quickly to do it which is why you didn’t tell her beforehand. Tell her it’s an investment and you plan to make a great return when you eventually sell it. You can even tell her about your plan for a great vacation.
Even if you manage the family finances there’s a difference between say, buying a particular stock, and buying land that you own in your name. I don’t think you’d need to tell your wife about every stock decision — especially if you buy and sell stock on a regular basis — but I do think you’d need to tell her about every real estate decision. (The limited exception I would make here is if you deal in real estate for a living. No one needs to share every single decision they make at their job with their spouse).
I’ve invested in real estate over the years and I’ve made all the financial decisions about those investments, but I’ve always told my wife about those decisions. Now she doesn’t necessarily pay that much attention to those real estate investments, but there are no real estate holdings I have that would surprise her if I suddenly died and had an estate I left behind.
Buying property and keeping it secret from your wife (or husband) — no matter the intentions — is always a bad move. Especially because she owns half of it and should know about it.
So you should definitely tell her sooner rather than later.
Send your anonymous mailbag questions to claytravis@gmail.
And I hope to see some of you Wednesday in Nashville or Saturday in Rosemary Beach.
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