As we prepare to enter our sixth — SIXTH! — year as an independent site, we’ve got some exciting changes coming for the Outkick brand.
First, we’re going to be redesigning the site to make it easier to read and use. Those changes should start rolling out in the next ten days or so, but I wanted to let you know in advance so when you start bitching about changes I can just send you this link and tell you to #dbap. None of these changes will impact my Outkick the Coverage radio show, which is currently dominating mornings from 6-9 am eastern across all fifty states in our blessed union.
Second, we’re going to be adding a premium section to Outkick which focus on gambling and live events and will be behind a paywall. My plan is also to have a message board there and allow everyone joining Outkick premium to have a LinkedIn style profile to allow you guys — and girls — to meet and use Outkick as a social network of sorts. We will also be doing exclusive events across the country with invites and guaranteed admission to the Outkick VIP crew. My early plans are to have events this year in at least our top eight markets: Nashville, Atlanta, Houston, Dallas, Birmingham, New York City, Chicago and Los Angeles. We’ll also be doing events on college campuses around big games. All of you in Outkick premium will be guaranteed admission to these events. The cheap asses among you out there who don’t sign up for Outkick Premium will have to take your chances on whether we can fit you into the events. You will also have to deal with the fact that you are cheap pussies, which has a much more deleterious long term impact on your futures.
We’re also going to plan Outkick the Weekend in Vegas and will have a tiered buy in to events there. That is, you rich bastards are going to get some amazing opportunities for lots of money, but everyone else should have an incredible time too.
Again, I’ll be giving you more details on this soon and I honestly have no idea exactly how Outkick premium will go, but I’m not aware of any other “sports” site that has created an option like this and it can’t possibly go worse than my decision to sell pants. So stay tuned for those details coming soon. I think it’s going to be a pretty cool concept and all of you should sign up so I can shop for a more expensive beach house. My wife says we have to be on the beachside on 30A and that shit ain’t cheap.
Third, starting very soon I will control all advertising going forward on this website and Outkick the Show’s Periscope, Facebook Live, and podcast. My goal is to ensure that all brands we advertise for are consistent across all Outkick platforms. That means you won’t see an ad on, for instance, this website that contradicts with ads we’re doing on Outkick the Show. If you buy Outkick you will be buying us across all of our platforms.
I’m going to be selective in the brands that we associate with and we will be offering category exclusivity. So if, for instance, you’re an alcohol, an airline or a hotel, I will only allow your brand to be associated with the Outkick brand. What’s more, and I’ve never seen this done before either, I will not only endorse your brand, I will attack your rivals. That is, if you sign up with Outkick you not only get a brand endorsement which will reach tens of millions of our readers, viewers and listeners — hate to brag, but we had over 20 million uniques last year — but you can also sign up for me to murder your rivals.
Yes, I’m a marketing assassin. Essentially, I am Bronn from “Game of Thrones” a happy sell sword warrior who, if you pay me enough, will endorse you and chop off your rivals’ heads. If you want to be one of these exclusive companies that we endorse you can email me at firstname.lastname@example.org and I will put you in touch with our sales team.
Basically, the future of Outkick has never been brighter and our growth opportunities have never been better either.
For the past six years we have been building the most smart, original, funny and authentic sports brand on the Internet, now we’re about to take it to the next level.
#dbap x infinity, bitches