I’m down here in Tampa getting ready for Clemson-Alabama tomorrow — Outkick will be broadcasting our radio show live from 6-9 am et from the Marriott on the waterfront, but the radio area is restricted access so unfortunately we won’t be in public — and I figured the best way to say goodbye to the 2016 college football season was with a drinking game.
You can play along with your fellow Internet friends by using the hashtag #outkick
So here we go with 12 rules.
1. When Lane Kiffin is mentioned, drink.
If Lane Kiffin is shown in the crowd hitting on Alabama coeds, you have to do a shot. If Kiffin is shown in a luxury box having sex, you have to finish your entire drink. (If Joey Saltwater’s having sex with your wife or girlfriend, that’s on you for letting her go to the bathroom alone. Joey Saltwater gonna Joey Saltwater).
2. When it’s mentioned that Dabo Swinney played football at Alabama, drink.
If it’s mentioned that he was a walk-on — or his quote from yesterday that he was a crawl on is mentioned — do a shot.
3. Did you know that Alabama and Clemson also played last year in the title game?
Really, they did!
Whenever last year’s game is mentioned or highlights are shown of last year’s game, drink
4. Jalen Hurts is a freshman. When it’s mentioned that Jalen Hurts is a freshman, drink.
Note: this is probably enough to get you drunk by yourself.
5. Each time Steve Sarkisian is shown or mentioned, drink.
If Sarkisian is shown eating a booger then you have to buy mescal at halftime and drink the worm.
By the way, this will be the most TV time that Steve Sarkisian has ever had in his entire professional life. And last year at this time Sark was in the news for suing USC and entering rehab. Comeback time, baby!
6. If anyone from Clemson ass grabs or ass finger bangs, finish your beer.
If any discussion about ass play takes place or any highlights are shown of said ass play, do a shot.
If Kirk Herbstreit turns to Chris Fowler and says, “Four fingers deep was Brent Musburger’s nickname at Northwestern,” finish your drink via buttchugging.
7. When Alabama misses a field goal drink.
If Alabama doesn’t miss a field goal…oh, come on, who are we kidding?
8. Clemson’s Hunter Renfrow is a white wide receiver. If he is described as “deceptively fast,” a “security blanket,” or a “great route runner,” drink.
Also, is Hunter Renfrow the whitest name in college football title game history? I think it is. If someone can come up with a whiter player name in college football title game history then that person gets to assign ten drinks to the room.
9. When Nick Saban loses his mind screaming at someone on the sideline, drink.
If that person is Steve Sarkisian, do a shot.
10. Deshaun Watson has thrown a ton of interceptions this year. When he gets picked off, drink.
If Alabama returns the interception for a touchdown, do a shot.
11. If any Clemson player’s disappointment over last year’s loss is discussed, take a drink.
If it’s Ben Boulware, hold four fingers up while drinking.
12. Nick Saban is trying to win his sixth national title, his fifth in eight years at Alabama.
Drink if this is mentioned during the telecast.
(The entire Big Ten has won 2.5 national championships in the past 47 years. If this seems like a gratuitous shot at the Big Ten, it totally is. And so is this one, no Big Ten quarterback has been drafted in the first round since Kerry Collin in 1995.)
Have fun, kids.
And remember, play along with your Internet friends by using the #outkick hashtag on Twitter.
I’ll also be on Snapchat on gameday so follow me there as well.