Arkansas Police Report Is Ridiculous

Last night I read the Arkansas state police report which trumpets as fact that Captain Lance King did nothing improper in his treatment of Arkansas coach Bobby Petrino. How do we know this is the case? Because, evidently, everything that Captain King says is taken as the whole truth. You can read the entire “report”… Read more »

Petrino Out At Arkansas: Jeff Long Takes a Stand

 Tonight the Bobby Petrino motorcycle ride from hell came to a close.  Arkansas athletic director Jeff Long wiped out Petrino in an emotional press conference that just ended. Before we analzye anything else, let me just say this, Jeff Long hit an absolute home run tonight. I’ve thought he was oneof the top athletic directors… Read more »

Arkansas Wants to Keep Bobby Petrino

By now it should be clear to you that Arkansas doesn’t want to fire Bobby Petrino. If Arkansas wanted to fire Petrino it had ample evidence to do so on Thursday night. No, Arkansas doesn’t want to fire Bobby Petrino at all. What’s happening now is Arkansas is trying to find a reason not to fire Petrino.… Read more »

Will Arkansas Fire Bobby Petrino?

 Let’s be clear, Arkansas AD Jeff Long has a tough call to make on whether or not to fire Bobby Petrino. And let’s go ahead and dismiss with the affair arguments. The affair isn’t the issue. That isn’t a fireable offense.  It’s hiring his mistress as a subordinate last week and then lying about her… Read more »

Opening Day Memories of Three Best Baseball Movies

 Today, overweight, middle-aged Americans across the country will button their shirts and head to work.  By shirts, I mean authentic Jeterpujolsrodriguez jerseys.  And by work, I mean go eat hot dogs, drink beer, and get a sunburn on the portion of their necks not covered in back hair.  (And that’s just the women.)  That’s right.  It’s opening day of Major… Read more »

Bobby Petrino’s Wild Ride

No matter how difficult your week has been it’s doubtful that it involved trying to explain to your wife how a smoking hot 25 year old blonde found herself wrapped around you as you drove into a sunset on an Arkansas spring afternoon.  On April Fool’s day came the unexpected rumor that Bobby Petrino had… Read more »

Coach Cal and the War for Fan Opinion

When he was New Jersey Nets coach John Calipari forced an intern to make telephone calls to sports talk radio station WFAN endorsing his coaching ability. This amazing detail comes courtesy of Yahoo’s Adrian Wojnarowski.   “When John Calipari ruled as general manager and coach, one of the interns within the New Jersey Nets’ basketball operations had come to expect… Read more »

Lexington Police Scanner Wins Twitter Title

Last night I stayed up until 2 AM central, unable to turn off the glorious Internet site that live-streamed the Lexington police scanner. As mayhem reigned in Lexington, thousands of y’all also listened along and furiously updated me as we compared Twitter notes on the riotous crime scene. How popular was this feed? #lexingtonpolicescanner trended number one in… Read more »

Kentucky vs. Kansas Drinking Game

Tonight is Kentucky — Kansas in the final major college sporting event until August 31st. And you want to say goodbye to a long offseason of college sports by drinking. Probably heavily. I know this because y’all have barraged me on Twitter for a new drinking game. So I’m obliging. Kentucky will win, which means… Read more »

NFL Won’t Admit There Was a Super Bowl Bounty on Peyton Manning: Why?

Last week the NFL world exploded when Roger Goodell levied penalties on the New Orleans Saints, Sean Payton, and defensive coordinator Gregg Williams for their participation in a multi-year bounty system. As part of that report the NFL also announced that the Saints had targeted four quarterbacks — Brett Favre, Kurt Warner, Aaron Rodgers, and… Read more »

Kentucky Fan Offers Wife for Final Four Tickets

A brilliant Kentucky fan has taken to Craig’s List to snag tickets to the Final Four. How’s he going to do it? By trading his wife for the tickets. Quoth the always reliable Craig’s List: “I am a UK fan wanting to go to the Final Four in N’Oleans. I have put up my wife… Read more »

Sports Media Draft for ESPN, CBS, and NBC

Thanks to the emergence of NBC Sports Network and CBS Sports Network, ESPN finally has cable competition with actual money to spend. It’s been a long time coming. Television talent is celebrating like never before because multiple bidders drives up sports media salaries. Instead of ESPN being able to tell you to take its offer… Read more »

Pat Robertson Prophesies Peyton Manning Injury After Tebow Trade

Early in my online writing career a reader sent me a claim from televangelist Pat Robertson — that he could leg press 2000 pounds. It was an absurd claim that Robertson was using to help sell his age-defying protein shake. When called on it Robertson posted a video of himself leg pressing much less than… Read more »

Alabama Grocery Store Sells Tide Championship Chicken, Really

Every now and then we get an email asking why we pick on Alabama and Kentucky fans so much on OKTC. The easy answer is because there are just so many things about both fan bases — the most ridiculous, insane, and ill-educated in all of America — that deserve to be made fun of. Which… Read more »

We’re All Going to Die of Pollen

A severe pollen count is 1,500. Yesterday Nashville’s pollen count hit 16,000. This is the highest recorded pollen level in the city’s history. I think I’m going to die of pollen. Several years ago I went to the Vanderbilt allergy clinic to be tested for allergies. I spent the entire morning there being stuck with… Read more »

Rex Ryan Tebowed In Baton Rouge

The Rex Ryan- Tim Tebow marriage is going to be exciting as hell. When Mark Sanchez has his first two interception game — which will probably happen in week one — Jets fans will scream for Tebow like wild banshees. If the NFL hasn’t already chosen a Hard Knocks location it needs to be New… Read more »

Jaguars Wave Bye to Tebow, Prepare for Franchise Move

NFL teams exist to make money. Sometimes as fans we forget that these are businesses. And the goal of any business is to turn as big of a profit as it possibly can within the bounds of the law. (And often well beyond those bounds). That’s why the Jacksonville Jaguars absolutely, positively had to trade… Read more »

Nick Saban Shoots Down Four Team Conference Champion Playoff

Despite being a fan of a four-team playoff, Alabama coach Nick Saban isn’t a fan of rewarding four conference champions with playoff spots. The idea, initially floated by former SEC commissioner Roy Kramer, has been endorsed by Pac 12 Commissioner Larry Scott and has received substantial media attention as college football power brokers negotiate a new… Read more »

Has TV Killed the Live Sports Experience?

Fans would rather watch sports on television than go to the actual games. Nearly sixty years after pro sports owners wrestled with how to maintain gate revenues in a television era — this is how we got blackouts — the HD flat-screen TV product has surpassed the in-game experience. It’s Back to the Future for sports. Turns out… Read more »