This one time at Starbucks, I got Musburger’d.

One time, while sitting at a Starbucks working and minding my own business, an elderly man with leathery skin and salt-n-pepper hair sat down next to me. He hadn’t taken two bites of his muffin before he leaned over towards me, took a couple quick sniffs followed by one long inhale, then half-yelled, “Mmmmm, you… Read more »

All that and a bag of mail: Ladies Edition

Every Friday, Clay answers your questions about sports and hot women. (You can read his latest mailbag here.) But Clay’s knowledge about hot women is limited because he’s not one. That’s why OKTC is bringing you a weekly female voice. Hayley Frank and I will be taking turns answering your most important questions. We specialize in… Read more »

Enough is Enough: Ending the Notre Dame Rules

Enough is enough. Monday night’s 42-14 humiliation of Notre Dame should be enough for an indictment, conviction and execution of the Notre Dame Rules. Specifically, the special treatment for “Non-Southern White America’s Team” should, and must, come to an abrupt end. Football fans have wondered for years what would happen if an undefeated, independent Notre… Read more »

Big Ten Feminist In Bill Cosby Sweater Offended By Brent Musburger

One of the stupid things about made-up “controversies” is that there are inevitably stupid people offended by these made-up controversies. Yesterday afternoon ESPN apologized to the .0001% of Americans who were dumb enough to be offended by Musburger’s commentary: “We always try to capture interesting story lines and the relationship between an Auburn grad who… Read more »

Meet AJ McCarron:Your Newest Celebrity College Football Quarterback

If you want to be a rockstar celebrity quarterback before you’re old enough to drink a beer, you need to come play football in the SEC. Move over Johnny Football and Tim Tebow, you’ve got company in the SEC’s celebrity quarterback club. On a night when he led his team to a second straight national title, the… Read more »

Move Over Superbowl: National TITLE STIRRING prop fever

Prop fever is synonymous with the Superbowl. Everything from the coin toss, first penalty, and length of national anthem are made available for your wagering pleasure. One sportsbook here in Las Vegas is using the mass fanfare created by the Alabama vs Notre Dame national championship to to take things to the next level, offering… Read more »

Saturday Night at Bama’s Team Hotel Was Crazy

Miami, Florida By 10:30 on Saturday night South Beach’s Fontainebleu hotel was filled with more people wearing Alabama team gear than have ever stormed the fancy lobby wearing gear of any team. Bama fans had descended en masse to the Alabama team hotel in their coaches polos, houndstooth apparel, crimson blended with the tropical palettes of the circular bar in a maelstrom of… Read more »

2013 BCS Title Drinking Game

Okay, it’s here, the final college football game of 2012. And how does the OKTC readership celebrate and mourn at the same time? With a drinking game, of course. You guys can play along with the hashtag, #bcsdrink. Here are the 12 rules for BCS drink. 1. Each time Brent Musburger calls Kirk Herbstreit, “Herby,”… Read more »

Forrest Gump vs. Rudy

So it comes down to this. Alabama vs. Notre Dame. A lot of people (Clay Travis) have been pretty vocal about the fact that they don’t think Notre Dame belongs in this game. Different metrics have been used in an attempt to analyze how the teams match up. Strength of schedule, religious denomination, degree of… Read more »

Pregnant Bama Fan Promises to Name Her Baby Saban

Bama fans, the gift that keeps on giving. According to a Facebook post, a pregnant Bama fan showed up at tonight’s BCS title game with this message scrowled on her belly: “If Bama wins tonight I’m naming this baby Saban.” Simply amazing. As kickoff nears Bama fans always win. Always. Now the site that posted… Read more »

Brent Musburger Gushes Over AJ McCarron’s Mom and Girlfriend

Tonight, AJ McCarron owned the universe. Hell, it’s only two minutes into the second quarter and the game is already over here. I can’t even read my Twitter mentions because Brent Musberger killed it. That’s because AJ’s girlfriend and mom have already been gushed over by Brent Musburger, which is the #bcsdrink equivalent of a walkoff homerun.… Read more »

Notre Dame Would Be the 10th Best Team in the SEC

Turns out I was too respectful of Notre Dame’s football team. Remember when I wrote and said that Notre Dame would be the seventh best team in the SEC? And everyone who wasn’t an SEC fan ripped me for being an SEC homer? Only, I didn’t write and say that to get attention, I wrote and said… Read more »

A&M Coeds Have Johnny Football Fever

You know the drill, smoking hot coeds love Johnny Manziel. So is it really any surprise that a live Dallas football station caught Scooby Football fever before kickoff last night against Oklahoma? This time Scooby Football had a brunette and a blonde dueling for his affections during a live local news report from outside the… Read more »

Robert Nkemdiche, nation’s top recruit, riles up Mississippi Legislature

Robert Nkemdiche, the top college football recruit in the nation according to, is a celebrity football player before he steps foot on any campus. The 6’5″ 270 pounder is a ready made rush defensive end who is considered a better high school prospect defensive line prospect than South Carolina wunderkid Jadeveon Clowney. Nkemdiche’s recruitment has been full of… Read more »

Myth of the Big 12’s Grant of rights

By Jason Hutzler That a grant of rights prevents conferences from being raided is a myth. The Big 12 is still vulnerable because Texas and Oklahoma are still in play to be gobbled up in conference realignment. To give you some background, I am a contract lawyer in Phoenix. I litigate a lot of contracts. Some that have liquidated damages… Read more »

15 Reasons to Hate Alabama or Notre Dame

This year’s BCS title game is a big bowl of hate. Never have two college football teams who are more detested by the rest of the nation played for a national title, the Alabama Crimson Tide vs. the Notre Dame Fighting Irish, it’s a royal rumble of fan stupidity. Gag me. So if you hate… Read more »

All That and a Bag of Mail: BCS TItle Game Edition

I’m leaving for Miami this morning, but about a year ago I made a promise to you guys that the mailbag would always be up on Friday so you slackers could pretend to be working while you actually read about all sorts of ridiculousness from me. So the mailbag is up and rolling even as… Read more »

My National Championship Dilemma: Touchdown Jesus vs Stonewall Saban

By Nick Pritchard There really shouldn’t be a dilemma. The decision should be easy.  As an Ole Miss fan I should have no problem supporting Notre Dame, my girlfriend’s favorite team, against Alabama. Why? Because, I hate Alabama, that’s why. I hate the fans (yes, all of them), most of Tuscaloosa, and all of their… Read more »

Starting 11: Jadeveon Clowney Is Legend Edition

The last time Vanderbilt won nine football games was 1915, nearly a century ago. The SEC was still 18 years from existing.   What happened back in 1915? The House of Representatives rejected women’s right to vote, Babe Ruth hit his first home run as a rookie, and the first telephone call from one side of the country to the other was… Read more »

Jadeveon Clowney Decapitates State of Michigan

I don’t care what happens for the rest of bowl season, this is the play you will be seeing for the next decade or more. The time when the rest of the nation suddenly realized what those of us in the South have known for a long time, Jadeveon Clowney is a very, very bad… Read more »