Is The Pretentious Snobby Soccer Dude Worse Than The Vocally Anti-Soccer Guy? I Think So.

One of the most unique aspects of the World Cup, which comes along every four years, is that it is significantly more popular among American sports fans than annual world soccer competitions and league play. Many who don’t normally watch soccer follow the World Cup.  For some, the tournament serves as a unique deviation from the usual summer dead period devoid of football and basketball games.  To certain folks, however, World Cup Mania is a nuisance.  At the heart of the bothered group are two different types of personalities: “Anti-Soccer Guy” and “Pretentious Snobby Soccer Dude.”

Anti-Soccer Guy is a terrible guy.  He is a variation of “Who Cares Jerk” and “College Basketball Sucks Guy” during the NCAA Tournament, both of whom I discuss in detail in my Outkick article on the worst types of people during the NCAA Tournament  and on Twitter.  Anti-Soccer Guy makes it a point to disclose to the world how soccer is dull, disinteresting, and stupid. He rains on the parade of people who are trying to enjoy the event and is expresses annoyance that he has to suffer the torture of having to read tweets about soccer matches on his social media feed.   Anti-Soccer Guy thinks the internet should be focused on his needs and filter out any dialogue about topics that he doesn’t care about.  As a result, instead of simply disregarding any soccer discourse during the month of the World Cup, he unsolicitedly interjects himself into somebody’s replies to profess his distaste for the event. He might also tweet unnecessary remarks about sports that are more entertaining, or straight-up demand that people stop tweeting about soccer. Below are a few samples of Anti-Soccer Guy in action:

Here’s a big baseball fan commanding that all “jerks” stop tweeting about the most popular sport in the world.

This is “Dick.” He doesn’t doesn’t like soccer. Pay attention to him.

Thanks for telling us it’s time to mute, bud.

While Anti-Soccer Guy is dreadful, surprisingly enough, he may not be the worst person in the spectrum of awful soccer people. That title, in my opinion, belongs to  “Pretentious Snobby Soccer Dude.” Unlike Anti-Soccer Guy, Pretentious Snobby Soccer Dude, (or “PSSD”) loves soccer and the World Cup. He follows the sport year round, watches the European club leagues and, in many cases, the MLS.  In America, where soccer has been battling to break through into the mainstream for years, common sense seems to project that all PSSDs would embrace the World Cup’s popularity. But that doesn’t appear to be the case.  Instead of welcoming the new (albeit temporary) fans, PSSDs condescendingly make remarks about how unknowledgeable the newbies are when they try to provide commentary on the matches.   They are like a hybrid of the guy at the gym who scoffs at amateur workout routines and the tech expert who berates lay people for their lack of proficiency with non-fundamental internet code. These guys are insufferable.

How about this reply to my Freezing Cold Takes Instagram page after I posted a collection of tweets from the Germany vs. Sweden match Saturday:

What an asshole. Sheesh.

This guy is furious that Fox Soccer simply tweeted Harry Kane is on fire for scoring five goals in two games. Is this tweet so inarticulate that it really offends people?

Here’s a bro who will not tolerate anyone wearing a soccer jersey if they have not met all of his prerequisites. Any non-qualifiers are not worthy of the privilege of donning a precious jersey.

Note to infrequent soccer watchers: Don’t post anything about the World Cup if Maximiliano can see your feed.

Even if a casual fan actually tries to research and learn the game, some still aren’t impressed. This is akin to criticizing an overweight person who is working hard at the gym.

Here are some Pretentious Snobby Soccer Gals.

Do PSSD’s secretly desire the growth of soccer in America to stay stagnant? That is my hypothesis.  The more mainstream soccer becomes in this country, the more casual and less-informed soccer fans will start watching. PSSDs aren’t going to like that. Not at all.  These soccer dudes have invested the time and effort to be the soccer experts. They don’t want a bunch of neophytes intruding on their turf by making vacuous, uninformed, observations about matches.

To me, it is an easy verdict. Pretentious Snobby Soccer Dude destroys Anti-Soccer Guy in awfulness. Anti-Soccer Guy may be a cranky pants wet-blanket, but PSSDs feel like they are intellectually better and more significant than the casual fan.  They don’t think the average layman deserves to speak on the topic.

Soccer simpletons deserves a voice, and no high horse should get in their way.

(Top Photo Credit: USA TODAY Sports Images)

Fred Segal is an attorney from West Palm Beach, FL. He operates the popular Freezing Cold Takes twitter account (@OldTakesExposed) which highlights, among other things, hilarious unprophetic and inaccurate takes and predictions. 

You can follow Freezing Cold Takes on Facebook here, and Instagram here (username: freezingcoldtakes).

Comments